My Cat is Cheating on Me

I know. .I know.. I haven't written to the blog in a MONTH and THIS is the post that brings me back? But I had to write about it because I find it utterly hilarious.

I live in a 15-unit condo building, and have no private outdoor space. Therefore, my cats have no yard to patrol. No deck to sun themselves on. Basically no freedom (although they are quite spoiled!) Their "outdoors" is the hallway outside of my unit. They sit in front of my condo door and meow until I let them roam the hallway, sitting on the neighbors doormats until they come home and give them love.

About a week ago, Stinkey came home reeking of patchouli. I knew he had been in the neighbors house. I knew he was looking for love outside the home. Then today, he came home smelling like... (can you guess??).. marijuana!! And he's acting as if nothing happened. He apparently doesn't know that his whole head, and a little bit under his chin, is sporting some pretty strong evidence. He has a wonderful home. Plenty of food. Treats. Toys. Affection. Space to roam. And yet he whores around the hallway looking for love and drugs. I'm just waiting for the day when he comes home with a crack pipe and a "I love Unit 302" tattoo.

Maybe it's time for tough love. Tsk tsk tsk.

OomaSitting

Oh, I love the fuzzy dog. I have been looking forward to my weekend of dog-sitting with Ooma for months. Melissa says that this may break me of my adoration for dogs. We’ll see about that! It’s pretty strong.

I started by visiting Ooma, the adorable fuzzy Labradoodle, after work. As I was driving to see her, I found myself speeding. I felt like I was driving to a first date! I couldn't wait to arrive and give her a good scratch. I returned later to spend the night, insistent on being productive and reading some important Tenancy in Common documentation while simultaneously petting her. She promptly put an end to any such thoughts and demanded my full attention.

She decided to wake me up several times to bark and growl, letting me know that the neighbors just arrived home from a night out. How sweet. (ahem). We shared the bed for a good night of sleep.. her with three quarters of it, and me with my measly quarter.

The next day we arose early for our field trip. We picked up my Little Sister, Tania, and headed to Fort Funston for some frolicking in the sun. When I was first matched with Tania almost 5 years ago, she was deathly afraid of dogs. I’m so proud of the progress she has made, as she was Ooma’s primary caretaker during the outing. Except for that whole poop-disposal thing. That’s where she drew the line and I had to stand in. Otherwise, she was the entertainer, ball-thrower, fresh-water-pourer, and leash-walker. Fort Funston is my Happy Place. So many fluffy dogs. Ahhh. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

Next, we took the beautiful but dirty dog to get a bath! Pet Food Express lets you wash your own dog on the cheap, so we stopped at the cash register to purchase a token “for two people who have never washed a dog in their lives.” The super friendly guy at the counter sent another employee with us for an orientation. There were several other gorgeous dogs there getting primped.

Tania led Ooma up to the bathing are (unaware of what was going to happen). We linked her collar to the wall, just in case. After careful consideration, we chose the mango shampoo and Tania went to work scrubbing down the very calm and composed puppy! After Tania’s careful and thorough scrubbing, we moved her to the drying station, only to find out that she was NOT going to allow us to blow dry her. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s mostly poodle and didn’t want us to give her a poodle-fro or if she didn’t like the noise. But she said No. No no no no no. So we went back to the counter and asked for a few more towels and did it the old fashioned way.

(going in for the wash)

(scrub a dub dub with mango shampoo)

(soaked canine)

(hand drying)

(clean pooch!)

Oomers and I spent the evening and following day together playing various games, like: ring-around-the-scooter, just-you-try-to-get-me-to-come-inside, I-bet-you-can’t-catch-me-sucker, bark-at-the-neighbors, bark-at-sherri-while-she-is-watching-a-movie, steal-sherri’s-pen and my favorite, refuse-to-pee-because-I-know-it-means-we-will-go-back-inside-right-away.

Overall, a very fun experience. Even if she woke me up and scared me half to death with her middle of the night barky fits, she knew how to cock her head to one side and give me those adorable puppy dog eyes that make me melt and forget how bad she can be!

Run Chi-Wa-Wa Run!

This morning I found myself pondering the question, “What does one wear to the Chihuahua races?” I thought perhaps a big floppy hat. A linen suit?

Andrea and Adam, my favorite dog owners and key to legitimacy for dog events, invited me to join them for the regional Chihuahua races. As much as it pained me, I had to say “maybe”, as I wasn’t sure if the old lower back was going to hold up. I don’t recall ever saying anything other than YES to an event that revolves around cute furry creatures. But after being cooped up in the house for a few days with back pain, and having a need to stand up and stretch out a bit, I gratefully accepted their offer. Besides, I didn’t want to miss Jack’s debut as a champion racing dog. I had already missed his debut as a loungewear model in the PoochOnline catalog!

Once again, I was in dog heaven. Not quite so much as the Bark & Whine ball a few months ago (I do love the big dogs!), but definitely heaven. Cute little dogs everywhere. I’m pretty sure that 95% of those dogs were only partially Chihuahua, which resulted in a whole slew of unique looking dogs. The Chihuas ranged in size from 1/6 to 1 /3 the size of either one of my cats.


Adam and Jack:

This little doggie, "Mochi", had two "Body Guards".. a German Shepherd and a Standard Poodle.
We mingled with the other dog owners. Once again, after I was doting on their dog for quite some time, I was given the suspicious eye and was asked, “Do YOU have a dog!?” Thank goodness Jack was nearby! I stated (perhaps somewhat inaccurately) that “mine” was over there, and pointed to Jack. Hopefully Andrea and Adam are not bothered by me claiming their doggie as my own to remove the appearance of being a doggie stalker.






Jack was in the 10th round of 24. Each round included 10 dogs. The dogs line up at the starting line, held by one owner (or handler). Another owner/handler waits at the finish line and tries to lure the dog with treats and other methods of bribery. “On your Bark…. Get set… Go!”. The dogs scatter. Some do not leave the gate. Others run off to the sidelines. A few run in circles wagging their tails, working the crowd. Some run to their owners. One ran right out of it’s costume. One dog refused to come off of the course, and had to be chased in circles by his owner and a few race workers, lured (unsuccessfully) by treats.

We started several rounds by guessing, based on the dog and owners’ appearances, who would win each round. We just knew the dog in the pirate gear would win (and he did). And we knew the guy in the coach outfit (complete with terrycloth headband) was serious. His dog was first in her race. (We also suspect he took her back to the locker room for a massage and some cortisone before the semi-final round).

Andrea, Adam and their friend Shaun discussed the “release strategy” for Jack. Don’t push him on the behind when the gate is opened, or he will turn around.


It’s the 10th round. Andrea and Jack await (impatiently) at the starting gate. Sherri stands on the sidelines waiting to videotape the race. The pressure is on. On your Bark. Get Set. Go! Sherri watches all of the dogs through the camera lens, but can’t find Jack. Uh. Jack? She turns off the camera. Suddenly Jack emerges from the gate and makes a beeline for Adam at the finish line. He is perhaps the only dog that ran a straight, direct line to the finish. He arrives just a second too late! He comes in third place. If only he had made it out of the gate, he would have qualified. Oh well, Jack is still a model, still a superstar in our minds, and still cute as a button.

Andrea and Jack at the Start Line:

Pre-Race Dog Shots:

(Questionable lineage on this one..)

I Died and Went to Dog Heaven

Every other year, the San Francisco Symphony hosts it’s annual Black & White fundraising ball. They block off several city blocks around City Hall and throw a huge indoor/outdoor gala, where everyone dresses to the nines in their finest black and/or white attire. The music is fantastic, the food phenomenal, and the atmosphere amazing.

I used to think that was the best fundraising event in San Francisco.. until I learned of the Bark & Whine ball. The Bark & Whine is the San Francisco SPCA’s annual fundraiser. It is also a formal event, with great music and food, and FABULOUS beverages (did I mention that AT’s company was a sponsor?)... but the Bark & Whine is all about the DOGS. As a dog lover… okay.. as a dog STALKER (I can’t pass a dog on the street without stopping to pet it.. and sometimes I go to the dog park just to pet other people’s dogs), this night was a dream come true. I can’t imagine a better way to spend the night eating good food, having great cocktails, and hanging out at a venue chock full of dogs. All kinds of dogs.. dog breeds I knew.. dogs I couldn’t identify.. big dogs.. tiny dogs.. St. Bernards, Egyptian Pharaoh Hounds, Rottweilers, Chihuahuas.. dogs in costume.. dogs without costumes..and the best part was that they were all super friendly, and it was a free-for-all. You could just walk around petting everyone’s dogs at will. No need to ask, no need to worry if you are interrupting them. Heaven, I tell you.. heaven.

AT was supposed to join me, but had to go out of town for business. In his place were Andea and Adam, our good friends who happen to own two adorable Chihuahuas, Anna and Jack. Not only were Andrea & Adam a lot of fun, but they also lent credibility to my appearance at the show. Otherwise I might have looked a little odd showing up at a dog party without a dog!

Andrea with Anna:

Jack:
There seemed to be two main types of owners at the ball.. those who purchased expensive purebreds, and those who rescued their animals from bad situations. Andrea & Adam became heroes to many people at the ball when they told the story of Jack and Anna. Both dogs had been very badly abused before Andrea & Adam got them, but are now happy and thriving.

Also at the event.. a red carpet for the dogs to make their appearance, a buffet of delicious food, a silent auction to benefit the SPCA, a dance floor where people danced with their dogs, reserved tables, non-reserved tables, dog walkers to take the doggies outside when necessary, and a delicious chocolate fountain with fruit, other assorted dipping things, and RICE KRISPY TREATS. Yum!

I rank this evening an A++ and cannot WAIT till it comes around again next year. A huge thank you to Georgie @ Diageo for making it all happen. :)