My Cat is Cheating on Me

I know. .I know.. I haven't written to the blog in a MONTH and THIS is the post that brings me back? But I had to write about it because I find it utterly hilarious.

I live in a 15-unit condo building, and have no private outdoor space. Therefore, my cats have no yard to patrol. No deck to sun themselves on. Basically no freedom (although they are quite spoiled!) Their "outdoors" is the hallway outside of my unit. They sit in front of my condo door and meow until I let them roam the hallway, sitting on the neighbors doormats until they come home and give them love.

About a week ago, Stinkey came home reeking of patchouli. I knew he had been in the neighbors house. I knew he was looking for love outside the home. Then today, he came home smelling like... (can you guess??).. marijuana!! And he's acting as if nothing happened. He apparently doesn't know that his whole head, and a little bit under his chin, is sporting some pretty strong evidence. He has a wonderful home. Plenty of food. Treats. Toys. Affection. Space to roam. And yet he whores around the hallway looking for love and drugs. I'm just waiting for the day when he comes home with a crack pipe and a "I love Unit 302" tattoo.

Maybe it's time for tough love. Tsk tsk tsk.

Happy Birthday to Moose!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday you poor poor man who HAS TO be in Mexico on his birthday touring tequilla distilleries
Happy Birthday to YOOOUUUUUU.

xoxoxo

Calling all Dream Interpreters

I often have very vivid dreams. They usually combine different areas of my life in some weird way. Perhaps an old college roommate is my boss at a company that I worked for 5 years ago and the office looks like AT's old apartment. You know.. a hodgepodge of memories, usually triggered by something that happened that day or whatever happens to be on my mind.

Well, a few nights ago, I dreamed that I was getting some stuff out of my car (a PT Cruiser). Oprah Winfrey walked by and swiped a beach towel. I was going to chase after her, but decided to let her have it. Then Ross the Intern from the Tonight Show came by and did the same. I also let him keep his towel. Suddenly, both of them were back, trying to steal my car. I woke up in the middle of the night yelling "HELP! HELP ME!!" and nearly scaring poor A.T. to death.

WTF? What on EARTH could this mean? Anyone? Any ideas at all? I just can't get my head around the significance of Ross the Intern and Oprah. ????????

Do these pants make my butt look big?

(Rhetorical question. I know they make my butt look droopy!)

These pant were the result of a leap of faith. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose.

A friend of mine had heard about this great tailor that comes to the US (from Thailand) once a year to take your measurements and custom clothing orders. He takes the information back to Thailand, has the suits made there, and mails them to you. They are a fraction of the cost of having them made in the U.S., but still expensive.

As a person embarking upon a new career, and someone who has been working in the super causal technology arena for the past 15 years, I thought this might be a good investment. A business suit perfectly fitted to my body. I can't even imagine! I can't buy a single pair of pants off the rack without having to alter them. Too short. To tight in the booty. Too big in the waist. A shopping *nightmare*.

I was aware of the risk, and quite worried about what would happen if it did NOT fit. How would they fix it? How would they know how *much* too big or small it is? I decided to have faith in the system that others swore by, and run with it. (In retrospect, these were all men who recommended him. Perhaps men's bodies are much easier to fit!?)

After a little over a month of anxious anticipation, the suit arrived! I rushed home to try on my new wardrobe gem. Uh oh. Not so good. Fantastic workmanship. Solid construction. But horrible fit. Shoulders too tight, arms too short, waist too big, butt too big, to name a few. I sent it back with a description of the problem and lots of pictures. (Thanks to photographer AT). I'm giving them once chance to fix it. I hope this works!!!

The UpSide of Redundancy...

.. is having to use all of your flexible spending money quickly.
I bought FOUR new pairs of glasses! (That makes 17).
Mwaaaa haa haa haa haa!

It's official. I'm addicted.

So I was in my car yesterday, and I was listening to a song on the radio. Yes, radio. Not a CD. The radio. At one point, I couldn't quite understand the lyrics, so I (absent mindedly) reached down to the radio to rewind the song and listen again. Rewind live radio. Hello? You can't rewind live radio like you can rewind live TV with your beloved TIVO. This is a sign that I need to stop watching so much TV with TIVO. Sheesh. Thank goodness the TV season ended last week!