My Cat is Cheating on Me

I know. .I know.. I haven't written to the blog in a MONTH and THIS is the post that brings me back? But I had to write about it because I find it utterly hilarious.

I live in a 15-unit condo building, and have no private outdoor space. Therefore, my cats have no yard to patrol. No deck to sun themselves on. Basically no freedom (although they are quite spoiled!) Their "outdoors" is the hallway outside of my unit. They sit in front of my condo door and meow until I let them roam the hallway, sitting on the neighbors doormats until they come home and give them love.

About a week ago, Stinkey came home reeking of patchouli. I knew he had been in the neighbors house. I knew he was looking for love outside the home. Then today, he came home smelling like... (can you guess??).. marijuana!! And he's acting as if nothing happened. He apparently doesn't know that his whole head, and a little bit under his chin, is sporting some pretty strong evidence. He has a wonderful home. Plenty of food. Treats. Toys. Affection. Space to roam. And yet he whores around the hallway looking for love and drugs. I'm just waiting for the day when he comes home with a crack pipe and a "I love Unit 302" tattoo.

Maybe it's time for tough love. Tsk tsk tsk.

Happy Birthday to Moose!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday you poor poor man who HAS TO be in Mexico on his birthday touring tequilla distilleries
Happy Birthday to YOOOUUUUUU.

xoxoxo

Moose & Squirrel are Alive & Kicking

OH MY! Where has the time gone!? I'll try to go back and fill in the details later, but here's a little synopsis of how my August and September hours were passed:

6 weeks of intensive Real Estate training by Zephyr. In addition to working full time, I spent every day, Monday through.. well... Monday, packing my brain full of real estate laws, best practices, horror stories, tips & tricks and very important lessons from the fantastic brokers @ Zephyr. This training included more than 30 action packed training classes that covered such things as: contracts, open houses and floor calls, agency relationships, disclosures, the MLS, writing and presenting offers, financial planning, technology for real estate, forms, condo and TIC issues, listing presentations, property inspection , farming (moo!), marketing properties, marketing ourselves, negotiating, home warranties, taxes, escrow, title (I can finally explain the value of that title insurance!), time management, financing, rent control, probate, disclosures, competitive market analyses, disclosures, managing a customer base, disclosures. Did I mention disclosures?

Other happenings:

• A field trip to Probate Court to observe & learn
• A seminar on property co-ownership by non-married individuals
• A seminar on TIC ownership by one of SF's leading TIC specialists
• Toured over 300 properties in San Francisco. Single family homes, condos, TICs, multi-unit buildings. I aways jot down notes for each property with my nerdy little clipboard, and endure endless "comments" from other agents about how they've never seen anyone with a clipboard before. Really? It's that unusual?
• Hosted 6 Open Houses on Saturday and Sunday afternoons.
• Toured the new high-rise developments in SOMA to learn about the neighborhood development and new luxury condos.
• Bought my first smartphone and bluetooth headset. (For a technology person, I am somehow a late adopter when it comes to gadgets! I was forced to abandon my old philosophy of leaving work at the office for a more appropriate one of working all day, every day, from the car, from the nail salon, from the.. well.. that wasn't a flush you heard, that was the...errr.. garbage disposal. Anyway, I'm now wired 24/7.)
• Set up my laptop so that I can write and submit offers from anywhere in the world as long as I have an Internet connection. Made A.T. promise that I would have high speed Internet and a fax before agreeing to go away for Thanksgiving. (WHAT is happening to me!!?)
• Finally sent out my announcement emails (If you didn't get one, please let me know and I'll send you one!)
• Worked on my business plan. Almost done!
• And the best part.. working with my awesome clients (and writing offers!). It's amazing, the wide variety of personalities, tastes, and levels tolerance for things like noise, people, remodeling, height, numbers.. you name it, every one's got an opinion about it. Everyone is indeed a unique and special individual and I love getting to know them. Some are forthcoming, some are not. Some trust you automatically and others instinctively distrust you. Some are organized and prepared, and some leave that part to me. :) Overall, it's a wonderful experience to get out and meet all kinds of people that I wasn't exposed to before when I was confined to the cube and interacted primarily with other techies and businesspeople. Nurses, police men, musicians, entrepreneurs, dog groomers, event planners, caterers. All kinds of fascinating people.

Strangely that doesn't seem to convey everything that I've been doing. I wish that there was a less graphic way to say "running around like a chicken with my head cut off". But really, that's it. Y'all know how anal I am about keeping my little to do list up to date. I have been enduring endless stress over not feeling like I'm doing enough, while actually moving at 160 mph. It's crazy. So much to learn. Always so much to learn. Even after 10 years in the business, there will be a lot to learn. But the good news is that I LOVE IT. Never a second thought. Never a doubt. This is what I am meant to do.

For fun?

• Hosted our annual Roof Deck Party
• Welcomed AT's dad to SF for his annual visit
• Our annual pilgrimage to central PA (Yeee-hawww! Ask A.T. how he liked being TAKEN for a ride on the 4-wheeler (ATV) by my 5-year old nephew.)
• Passed one divine Saturday tasting wine and dining at the French Laundry with our favorite L.A. friends Mitch, Cynthia and Heather (and two friends).
• Barely went to the gym or exercised
• Barely slept
• Hung out with Tania, my spectacular Little Sister
• Didn't cook a single meal at home. (Okay, cooked 2 meals in 2 months!)
• Enjoyed Lisa and Kris Bagchi's visit to SF
• Went to Melicob's fabulous Pig Roast and Western Bday Party
• Enjoyed a night of cocktails with Tod Stenger, visiting from Denver.
• Ate a delicious meal with Shelley "Boots" Sanner from DC, who I have not seen in YEARS. Found out at the end of dinner that the guy at the next table had been carefully listening to every single word of our very private conversation, when he asked if he could comment on our discussion. (!!!!)
• Joined the Commonwealth Club and attended several very interesting lectures.
• Kevin & Kristen's lovely SF wedding (Kevin is my next-door neighbor)
• Dinner with Nicole and Adam from Los Angeles (visiting SF with their fun friends Orion and Jamie)
• Keeping Stefan out of trouble during his visit from Boston to SF (okay, we failed at that mission)
• Laughing with Gabriel "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy" Iglesias with the BGI girls @ Cobbs Comedy club.
• Multiple crazy, fun NEFF happy hours
• Adam's going away party :-(
• Attended the NOPA neighborhood meeting with Andrea. She wanted to see Gavin Newsom and I wanted to find out what's going on in that neighborhood so that I can keep my clients updated. I felt like a complete impostor at this very neighborhoody meeting, but alas, we sat in the second row and both stared at Gavin like crazed little schoolgirls. He is mesmerizing. Truly mesmerizing. Although after we left, Andrea said that every time I pulled out my notepad to write something down, Gavin looked down at me with a quizzical look. You know the look because all of you have done it. You think I'm writing something about you, when really I'm writing exciting reminders to myself like "pay for health insurance" or "drop off skirt for alterations". Sheesh. I guess no-one is immune to the self-consciousness that my handy dandy notepad evokes!

Okay, I've wasted enough time on personal things. Time to go back to work. It's 9:00pm. Where has the day gone!? Oy!

Squirel is Legal. Please buy a Tree

Where do I even start? My mind is racing. Every day. Every night. I can’t sleep. I keep thinking of things to do. I can’t turn my brain off. I can’t even keep my to do list up to date. And y’all know how obsessed I am with a neat and orderly to-do list. I have pieces of paper with notes scribbled on them all around the house, car, and office. In fact, I’m not entirely sure why I’m spending time blogging. Perhaps it’s my escape. Or fear that I will get really really behind and never be able to catch up.

The good news:
1. My license came in on Friday. I’m official! I can now sell real estate. And she’s off!!!

2. I got my first Open House gig. This Sunday I will be hosting an Open House for a very successful listing agent, Rick Osmon. It’s a beautiful house on 24th & Dolores. $1,025,000 beautiful.

3. Zephyr new agent training started: I’m ready to go NOW, but every day from now till mid September, we’ll have 2-4 hours of training sessions every day, covering every subject area possible. And it’s a fantastic training plan. Training + Mentor = very prepared Sherri.

4. My business cards will be here on Friday: just in time for our BBQ and my open house. No more scribbling my name and number on the generic Zephyr card! Yay!

Today was another mad dash around the city to see how many properties I could view. I narrowed it down form 600+ properties to 40ish. I cut out the $15,000,000 home due to time constraints and the relative probability that I wouldn’t come across a $15,000,000 house buyer in the next month or two. You know, it’s not hard to find a Real Estate Agent on Tuesdays. Stand on any corner and look out for a Volvo or Mercedes.

Tuesday are a frenzied rush. I departed the house this morning prepared for the tour. I had my excel spreadsheet of houses I wanted to visit, ordered by the most efficient path through town (taking into consideration the 1.5 hour window that each property was open), with notes for Zephyr agent listings, houses offering snacks or lunch, and the importance of seeing each home (after all, I know I won’t actually make it to 40 houses in 5 hours). I also had my handy dandy clipboard. I appear to be the only agent in town who walks into an open house with a clipboard. I always take notes on each property. How else can you remember the details of each one? Last week, I was waiting for an agent to open the gate to her open house, and she asked what I wanted. She thought (because of the clipboard) that I was there taking a survey or trying to get signatures for a petition. !!! Is it really that odd to want to take some notes? Am I anal retentive or is everyone else under-prepared? (don’t answer that). I also packed my baggy of popcorn, a toothpick (for the pesky popcorn), a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, fresh cantaloupe, a Coke, water and some nuts. And some wet-naps to wash the cooties off of my hands before snacking. Yes, have to pack a lunch. There’s no time to stop anywhere for food, and if you leave it to the food that some agents put out, you might not find anything you like. I do, however, have at least one “brownie bite” every Tuesday. That’s the preferred dessert of SF agents, apparently. I still have to figure out where to go to the ladies room during tour day. Do I waste time by stopping at a restaurant, pretending to be a customer, and using the facilities? Is it uncouth to use the loo at an open house?

I have a newfound love for my car. The PT Cruiser is a real estate touring machine. I have renamed her “The R.E. Cruiser”. She zips through this city faster than any automatic-transmission Volvo. Her turning radius is stellar, and helps me snag a coveted parking spot across the street in seconds. She can park legally in those smaller spots between driveways that most other cars can’t fit into. I get a left leg workout from pushing the clutch all day. And most importantly, she’s a comfortable ride for the passengers. No, most importantly is that I don’t look like every other real estate agent out there! Although, I do have a little bit of Volvo XC90 envy, and today I found myself driving behind one at least 9 times.

A few questions that I pondered today while touring:

1. Why on earth would you remodel your kitchen and put in beautiful granite countertops with an OVERmount sink? The benefit of granite is that you can use the nice undermount sink so that you can push your crumbs directly into the sink without having to steer them off of the counter, into your hand (and on the floor) before depositing them in the sink.

2. If your listing is kind of moldy smelling, why not open a window or two?

3. Why don’t all parking police log onto the MLS to see where the open houses are every Tuesday and Sunday, then hang out by the properties and make their whole week’s parking ticket quota in one day? Please don’t tell any parking police officers about this idea, as I found myself double parking (gasp!) today when there weren’t any spots in a decent radius. But the thought did cross my mind.

That’s it for today, folks. I am frantically trying to get my website up & out (a very basic version.. the better one will follow in a month or two), do my training, prepare for our big BBQ on Saturday, prepare for my Open house, and become the real estate guru that I aspire to be (this category has about 257 items in it).

(subliminal message. Send me home buyers and sellers)

Calling all Dream Interpreters

I often have very vivid dreams. They usually combine different areas of my life in some weird way. Perhaps an old college roommate is my boss at a company that I worked for 5 years ago and the office looks like AT's old apartment. You know.. a hodgepodge of memories, usually triggered by something that happened that day or whatever happens to be on my mind.

Well, a few nights ago, I dreamed that I was getting some stuff out of my car (a PT Cruiser). Oprah Winfrey walked by and swiped a beach towel. I was going to chase after her, but decided to let her have it. Then Ross the Intern from the Tonight Show came by and did the same. I also let him keep his towel. Suddenly, both of them were back, trying to steal my car. I woke up in the middle of the night yelling "HELP! HELP ME!!" and nearly scaring poor A.T. to death.

WTF? What on EARTH could this mean? Anyone? Any ideas at all? I just can't get my head around the significance of Ross the Intern and Oprah. ????????

Rookie Broker Touring

Today Tara (my mentor) and I went out for the Rookie Broker Tour. This means that we would be seeing houses from 9am-4pm, all day, nonstop, all neighborhoods, all price points. We saw condos, TICs and houses from Seacliff to Excelsior. I asked to drive so that I would become more familiar with the roads/routes. I also wanted to make sure that my aggressive, stick-shift wielding, yell-at-pedestrians-who-aren't-looking-for-cars, curse-at-drivers-on-their-cell-phones-making-bad-moves style driving could be successfully toned down to a professional level. After all, I do not want to 1.) scare anyone or 2.) make anyone nauseous. (I wonder where I got that road rage from..hmm.. someone from Boston perhaps?) I think that Tara was so excited to be chauffeured around town that she didn't notice the driving! In any case, I seemed to pass the test. We had a lovely day, meeting agents, seeing great and not-so-great units, exploring the neighborhoods, talking about the market. Tara is getting ready to list a house, and she had 4 other agents come over to look at it and come up with the ideal listing price. I love the fact that Zephyr agents are so willing to help other agents! The best part of today.. no gym. Walking up steps all day is quite a workout in and of itself!

Do these pants make my butt look big?

(Rhetorical question. I know they make my butt look droopy!)

These pant were the result of a leap of faith. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose.

A friend of mine had heard about this great tailor that comes to the US (from Thailand) once a year to take your measurements and custom clothing orders. He takes the information back to Thailand, has the suits made there, and mails them to you. They are a fraction of the cost of having them made in the U.S., but still expensive.

As a person embarking upon a new career, and someone who has been working in the super causal technology arena for the past 15 years, I thought this might be a good investment. A business suit perfectly fitted to my body. I can't even imagine! I can't buy a single pair of pants off the rack without having to alter them. Too short. To tight in the booty. Too big in the waist. A shopping *nightmare*.

I was aware of the risk, and quite worried about what would happen if it did NOT fit. How would they fix it? How would they know how *much* too big or small it is? I decided to have faith in the system that others swore by, and run with it. (In retrospect, these were all men who recommended him. Perhaps men's bodies are much easier to fit!?)

After a little over a month of anxious anticipation, the suit arrived! I rushed home to try on my new wardrobe gem. Uh oh. Not so good. Fantastic workmanship. Solid construction. But horrible fit. Shoulders too tight, arms too short, waist too big, butt too big, to name a few. I sent it back with a description of the problem and lots of pictures. (Thanks to photographer AT). I'm giving them once chance to fix it. I hope this works!!!

Zephyr: Shameless Self Promotion

Whew! How is it that I haven't even received my real estate license yet, and I go to bed every night stressed out about the huge to-do list that I can barely chisel away at each day? I'll tell you how. There is so much to learn and do! A never-ending supply of research that I feel the need to complete before I get my license! At that point, I'll have to switch into prospecting full gear!

Today was fun. I had my photo shoot this morning. It's a little weird to be fussing over a photo so much, but the darn thing is going to be plastered on every piece of marketing literature I put out there. Business cards, property sheets, websites. I need to find a picture that says I'm warm, open, intelligent, and a savvy business woman. How can a picture say all of that? Below are the 6 "finalist" photos. Yes, I know the one on the top middle looks like I'm drunk and falling over. I wasn't. Well, not during the photo shoot. The picture looked normal before the bottom was cropped off. You see, I was leaning over to pet a cute dog while she was taking the pictures. Kidding! Very likely, but not true in this case.

I also met with the Zephyr marketing manager today to discuss my marketing plan. How exciting! After much deliberation, and several purchases on GoDaddy.com, I finally decided on my new real estate website. This site name will be on my business cards as well as the For Sale signs for my listings, and my Open House signs. Nobody will ever remember how to spell Sherri Shaffer, so I wanted something without my name. Something catchy. Something people would remember without having to write it down. I am going with www.dwellingselling.com! It should be up and running in a week or two, so stay tuned. Do you like it? Accurate description of my career? Yes. Silly? Heck yeah. Memorable? Absolutely!

Tonight I'm going to curl up with the list of Tuesday open houses and a glass of wine. :)

OomaSitting

Oh, I love the fuzzy dog. I have been looking forward to my weekend of dog-sitting with Ooma for months. Melissa says that this may break me of my adoration for dogs. We’ll see about that! It’s pretty strong.

I started by visiting Ooma, the adorable fuzzy Labradoodle, after work. As I was driving to see her, I found myself speeding. I felt like I was driving to a first date! I couldn't wait to arrive and give her a good scratch. I returned later to spend the night, insistent on being productive and reading some important Tenancy in Common documentation while simultaneously petting her. She promptly put an end to any such thoughts and demanded my full attention.

She decided to wake me up several times to bark and growl, letting me know that the neighbors just arrived home from a night out. How sweet. (ahem). We shared the bed for a good night of sleep.. her with three quarters of it, and me with my measly quarter.

The next day we arose early for our field trip. We picked up my Little Sister, Tania, and headed to Fort Funston for some frolicking in the sun. When I was first matched with Tania almost 5 years ago, she was deathly afraid of dogs. I’m so proud of the progress she has made, as she was Ooma’s primary caretaker during the outing. Except for that whole poop-disposal thing. That’s where she drew the line and I had to stand in. Otherwise, she was the entertainer, ball-thrower, fresh-water-pourer, and leash-walker. Fort Funston is my Happy Place. So many fluffy dogs. Ahhh. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

Next, we took the beautiful but dirty dog to get a bath! Pet Food Express lets you wash your own dog on the cheap, so we stopped at the cash register to purchase a token “for two people who have never washed a dog in their lives.” The super friendly guy at the counter sent another employee with us for an orientation. There were several other gorgeous dogs there getting primped.

Tania led Ooma up to the bathing are (unaware of what was going to happen). We linked her collar to the wall, just in case. After careful consideration, we chose the mango shampoo and Tania went to work scrubbing down the very calm and composed puppy! After Tania’s careful and thorough scrubbing, we moved her to the drying station, only to find out that she was NOT going to allow us to blow dry her. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s mostly poodle and didn’t want us to give her a poodle-fro or if she didn’t like the noise. But she said No. No no no no no. So we went back to the counter and asked for a few more towels and did it the old fashioned way.

(going in for the wash)

(scrub a dub dub with mango shampoo)

(soaked canine)

(hand drying)

(clean pooch!)

Oomers and I spent the evening and following day together playing various games, like: ring-around-the-scooter, just-you-try-to-get-me-to-come-inside, I-bet-you-can’t-catch-me-sucker, bark-at-the-neighbors, bark-at-sherri-while-she-is-watching-a-movie, steal-sherri’s-pen and my favorite, refuse-to-pee-because-I-know-it-means-we-will-go-back-inside-right-away.

Overall, a very fun experience. Even if she woke me up and scared me half to death with her middle of the night barky fits, she knew how to cock her head to one side and give me those adorable puppy dog eyes that make me melt and forget how bad she can be!

Zephyr: Week One(half)

Well, I call it a half-week because my new career is.. well.. it's NOT a M-F, 9-5 kind of job.

I started on Tuesday. Tuesday is broker's tour day. That means that all of the new houses on the market all across the city (and those who want extra attention) are held open so that real estate agents from every agency in the city can see them. The tour is organized in such a way that each neighborhood has their houses open during a particular time slot, so you work your way around the city in an orderly fashion. There are hundreds and hundreds of properties open, so it's important to have a good game plan. It's even more important to find a few open houses that are serving food! (What a fantastic way to get the other agents to show up!).

If you have current buyers, this is your opportunity to check out houses they might be interested in before you drag them to the house on Sunday. Better to not waste their time if they require space for a baby grand piano, and the property just doesn't have it! Also, if you have a seller, it's a great time to see what else is for sale in the neighborhood, how nice they look, and how much they are selling their unit for. Since I don't have any customers yet (because the Department of Real Estate is still processing my license application!), I'm using my Tuesdays to explore properties that I think my first customers might want, and also to get an idea of what is on the market. Basically, Tuesdays are spent wearing comfortable shoes and driving around town doing research. No need to hit the gym on Tuesdays. :-)

Wednesday morning is the Zephyr sales meeting. We have breakfast, talk about the market, learn a new tip, have interesting discussions, hear about what people sold that week, and have other agents present their new listings. Then we do another tour of all of the new Zephyr-Agent listings. Vroom vroom around the city again.

Thursday and Friday would normally be spent preparing for the weekend. I spent them preparing my marketing plan, finding a catchy domain name for my website, and reading up on TIC laws and financing. I also set up lots of meeting for next week. My photo shoot for my business card mug shot. My meeting with the marketing guru. And my get-logged-in-to-all-Zephyr-systems meeting. I also determined a neighborhood-research plan. I am familiar with most neighborhoods in the city, after being here for 9 years (!) but there are some that need more investigation. Every Friday I will explore a new area. I also printed out a list of all parking fines from the City of San Francisco. Since I will be driving and parking all day, along with hundreds of other agents, chances are I won't get rock star parking every time. This way, I'll be able to make an educated decision about which type of ticket I get. Hmm. Street cleaning is less than parking by a red curb. But if I don't see the street cleaner coming up the street, I can make it in/out without a ticket (they are easy to spot). I'll take street cleaning violation risk, please!

On Fridays we get a thick print-out of all of the houses/condos that will be on the following Tuesday's brokers tour. Just to give you an idea of the size. There are approximately 600 properties open next week. Obviously, you need to put some effort into mapping your route!

Saturdays and Sundays are open houses for the public. This is when prospective buyers can look at properties. If I had a buyer customer, I would be driving them around to look at houses that they might be interested in. This week, I spent Saturday with Tania and Ooma, and making a plan for Sunday. I think I will focus on districts 5 & 6 tomorrow. District 6, Central North, is Lower Pacific Heights, Alamo Square, NoPa, Hayes Valley, Western Addition. District 5, Central, is Mission Dolores, Castro, Noe Valley, Glen Park, Twin Peaks, Haight Ashbury, etc. I'm going to be looking at Condo/TIC/Lofts up to $700k.

Mondays are typically filled with faxing offers, making counter offers, tying up loose ends from the weekend.

And once you have something in contract, every day consists of following up with the customer, title company, inspectors, and everyone involved to make sure the deal goes through smoothly!

I a few months, I'll pretty much know every street, every alley, every dead-end road, every hill's elevation. So if you need any directions, call me up. What? You need to know where Uranus is? I can help you with that. I saw a house on Uranus last week. Baaah! Okay, sorry. I couldn't help myself. I do love the scatological humor! And I really did see a house on Uranus, too. It was very nice. I would live on Uranus. Baah. I just can't stop!

So far, I'm loving it. Sure, I have no customers or pay. But I love it! The only problem is going to be making sure that I still get to see Tania on weekends, since I now work 7 days a week!

So, who wants to buy or sell a house with me? ;-)